Les miserables.

Stargaze

Wanted to star gaze but... There's just loads of clouds.

So I guess I'll moon gaze then.


Finally had time to do this since its Recess week.

Do you know what I think about when I look up?

December Avenue

Don't forget about the things we did and often do

  Come into your mind and see that I am next to you



  Hear the voices that tell you there's someone who's over and watching 

you   

3 more days until its your birthday.
One year passed so quickly.

It seriously felt like it was just ytd...
When I brought home a cake to celebrate your bday.
When I bought you a book to try to lead you to God rather than wallow in your sadness.

When we thought everything was ok.


I'm not sure how to feel when I'm actually older than you.

Could it be worse?

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Do you..

it's hard to be strong
it's hard to hold on
what is right and what is wrong
which path?
will my heart move on

Gong Cha

Gongcha's Taro Milk Tea with pudding jelly! (50% sugar is enough, any more and you'll be tasting sugar instead of taro)

Really really really worth a try. I'm not a fan of anything yam-my so yeah. It's really not bad.

Me: uhhh can I have taro milk?
Gc cashier: yeah okay would you like any topping with that?
Me: what topping would be nice?
Gc cashier: well you can try pudding.
Me: okay pudding it is.


I like the friendly down to earth feel. Gombak branch btw.

i'm never believing any shit anyone says anymore.
not until they prove it with their actions.

sometimes i wish i would think with my brains more than i think with my heart.



it's stupid but i kinda like thinking with my heart.

A proper update

I think i will find time to blog about my NZ trip (finally maybe?) when Recess week comes. Hopefully i won't be as busy as i think i will be...(I'm not even sure if i have mid terms test omgomgomg)

I would prolly take forever cause i need to update w pictures, on the happenings of two weeks. wow.


side note: work is piling up... will probably not die down until week 12... le sigh

I also tried out for Bintan OCSP. The interview was today... I'm half hoping i can get in. Because i secretly am not sure if I am able to handle the additional amount of stress i'm gonna get. why i so noob.

i wished i was braver and had more guts.
i'm sorry i'm sucha wimp :(

Little Things

Slept with a big fat smile on my face :)

Appreciate the little things in life!

Growing up

Nobody gave me a manual for this.

it hurts :(

my heart literally sank

someday i'll be

sometimes i feel pathetic because i want a dog but i can't get a dog.

lol i should stop.


just like how i want *insert*, but i can't get *insert*.

"i'd sing for you just so i could hear you"

All I know is
I'm too happy
Right here right now

One of those nights where I feel like sleeping and waking up late tmr.

And then rolling around in bed the next day.
And getting up just to eat brunch and then after that I watch funny videos and dramas.

And just stay at home and do this for 3days.

Before I step out into the world again.



But.

A girl can only dream

You know how people always have a dream?
Like that one dream they really want to see it happen ever since they were young?

Mine used to be "Be a Zookeeper"(so i can take care of animals).
But then along the way i realised being a Zoo Keeper wasn't "good enough". So it changed to being a Vet. However, i wasn't that smart to be a doctor of any sorts. So now, it's just pet shop owner.

I want to have a dog, cat, rabbit, hamster.


I never understood why my parents would object to that. (they never give a good enough reason to explain either)

When i was young, i thought
"It's okay, they say i can't take care of it now, but when i'm older, I'll be able to."

Well, you know how adults are. Making all sorts of excuses and lying to kids. Cheating their feelings.
Previously it was "We're looking at bigger house, you can get one then."

Now, it's "No our house is small."
They're not even looking for a bigger house anymore. Why bother giving false hopes in the first place, then?
"You won't take care of it." "It's dirty"

This is how i see it.
Some people likes Chanel, some people likes cars, some likes shades and some likes guitars.
They receive something they like, they get real happy.
Different people, different interests.


I don't see how a 1.2k e guitar is very different from a dog.
1. They both make noise.
2. They make the owner happy.
3. They need to be taken care of.
4. You better spend time with it.
5. You need a space to place it.
6. They are expensive.
7. They really make you happy.

Okay, so maybe a dog is slightly different but they have their similarities!


If my kid wanted a chocolate bar a day because it made him happy i would've said no. because chocolates on the other hand, are actually unhealthy to my kid.
If my kid wanted a toy drum set, why not?


You know what makes me happy?
Good food, food that i like, my mum's cooking.
Finding penang food to eat and eating eat w my family.
Shopping for things/clothes and coming home NOT getting nagged at. (i DO NOT shop excessively okay. i don't even buy branded stuff like wt )
Travelling, being places that has a story to tell. Breath taking scenery.
Catching up with friends..
Fridays and Saturdays. GB, LG, church.
Green stuff.
Star gazing. The moon.
Rainbows.
Mc Donald's ice cream on a hot day.
Hugs.


Am i not simple enough?



At one point of time i thought y'all understood why i liked GB. And why i was going back to serve.
But no, i guess not.
It's a joy to serve.
It's some sort of direction.
I influence lives, i make an impact, i help.
I'm sorry you can't see that as something good, but I like it, so let me be.

Why do I still go back? "No need study one ah?"
I do and i will. But i'm someone who sees people so much more important than a piece of paper.
If anyone of you begs to differ, well, good luck to you and have fun with your life.


If you see me as someone who can't take care of myself, can't take care of my own things (just because of one or a few instances) and therefore can't help people, i can only say so be it.
You may think what you like of me, but i will not back down because i know who i am to Him.

My attitude may suck sometimes, but it doesn't mean it sucks all the time.
Just because i forgot about my charger does not mean i actually like  it/ am okay that i lost it.




zzz wasted so much time typing this out.
blah. at least i feel better now.




"Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try"