I was a little enlightened

http://www.moisom.com/faith/i-just-got-engaged-and-immediately-doubted-my-decision-heres-why-i-still-said-yes/#.VE5EqKoazCQ

Ahhhhhh

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like I understand myself like 90/100.
Other times I feel like I don't understand myself at all.

Sometimes I feel like I know everything.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know at all.

Sometimes
Times like today...

I feel like
playing iPhone/Macbook app games all day :3


Happy Monday : D

I am getting old

Growing up doesn't seem as appealing as it did 10 years ago. I've learned - the hard way - that growing up also means death catching up with you. 

Just found out that one of my uncle in Penang passed away this evening. Even though i'm not close to him but you know CNY is just going to be slightly different with one less uncle asking you "How old are you? Where are you studying?" commenting "Wow you're so tall." all in Chinese with a Malaysian accent. 

Gone are the days where I could "boast" that I've never been to a funeral before and have no idea how it goes like. 

Sometimes in certain situations there is a need for one to act differently. One may be in terms of giving: stepping out of your comfort zone, giving your time, acts, attention to others. Other times you have to take: you withhold what you truly intend to do, you hold back on your actions, your thoughts, your feelings.

Both for the best interests of the other party. 

I wished I knew clearly when to give and take. For now, it's a gamble.

Sometimes i feel so conflicted.

Are we looking at too much details that we fail to see the bigger picture?
What actually really matters - the heart.

Also it sucks to downplay &not be yourself

Kranji heritage trail

Yesterday was a very fun day and i want to blog about the places we went and the things we did but i'm so tired and lazy right now haha.

so here's a picture to summarise that day.

Bollywood Veggies

We went to experience kampong

We wore blue

We wore caps

We walked in the rain

We played in the rain

We played fungo

We laughed

We ate at Bistro

We pet doggies

We walked and walked and walked

We saw huge fishes

We also celebrated Carlisle's bday :)

Give thanks

I'm really thankful for people who understand me;

I'm really thankful that I have friends that stay so near me. Just a text and I can pop over their house. I'm thankful that I'm able to share everything and just pour out my annoyance. Honestly don't know what I'd do without them. I may not be the best person in times of great annoyance and I need space and time to dissipate the emotions.

I'm thankful for those who tries to cheer me up and calm me down. A smiley face is better than none.

I'm thankful to God that He places these people in my life so that I have the balance. I'm thankful because I'm not the person who likes to readily share deep stuff to people. I'm thankful that there are people that I can connect to that I'm so comfortable with. I'm thankful that they can tolerate my nonsense.

I'm not the best with words or gifts. But I really do appreciate y'all.

친구들,사랑해 : )

hmmm

Watched Left Behind today...
I now feel depressed.

Also feel so tired and sleepy

don't know why I've been feeling so sleepy and tired for the past week.. :(
body can't even go past 12am


Also i feel like sometimes i don't understand myself.

Also apocalyptic movies make me sad.
and feel like 'why am i on earth' & 'why are people so evil'

"Leave space to linger just a bit after dinner around the sticky farm table.

Leave space for friendships less pixilated by getting off the computer and seeking more face-to-face time.

Leave space for laughter and loud singing on car rides long or short.

Leave space for the to-do lists to prioritize people, not just projects.

Leave space for the talks and walks and the crazy inside jokes.

Leave space for folding his collar over his tie.

Leave space for the unrushed yes." 

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/09/the-thrill-of-an-unrushed-yes/

Hello Cody

Idk but is September the season for guys to bug girls on fb or...

Anyway today i went to Mabel's house and played with her doggies!!!! okay actually i went to her house to do some strat work but i really just couldn't wait to meet her doggies. (Y MUST SHE SHIFT ALL THE WAY TO THE EAST!?!?!?) So first time we met each other outside of school and i (the obv very sacrificial friend) went all the way to the EAST side of singapore.

So her house has cool balconies, has four stories and has a lift. A LIFT. the people in the house don't even use their stairs hahahaha wts. And of course she has 3 doggies - a german shepherd, border collie, and mongrel. Ryder, her gs is so huge now!!! I remember when he used to be small and cute! K so Benji the mongrel's generally scared of other people(rescue dog..quite common trait). And when i wanted to enter her gate all 3 dogs were like madly barking at me hahahha. Then i had to let them sniff me and they got excited and licked my hands and the barking stopped. I love doggies but i loved border collies/australian shepherd kinda doggies first.

SO LET ME PRESENT TO YOU...

CODY

Look at that derp face hehehehehehe. And when you stop petting him, he knows to hold up his paw to touch you. TOO QT.

Yeah and after that had to go back to school for group meeting and after i followed her to SOE to book a gsr. Guess what she did. She tried to matchmake me to one of her indian friend HAHAHAHHA. 

"Eh the indian cute right, i give him your number ah"

hahahaha

Mondays are good :>

Stars in the sky

"Your mouth is a revolver firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier, loyal till you die
And I've been looking at the stars for a long, long time
I've been putting out fires all my life
Everybody wants a flame, but they don't want to get burnt
And today is our turn"

----------------------------------------------------------------
I am thinking of the stars in the sky
I am thinking of the beach
The sound of waves softly crawling, caressing;
they making an advance then retreat

I am thinking of the stars in the sky
I lie on the beach
I think i see that shooting star
did it blink or was it a wink
Was that a sign, i thought
then it passed

I am thinking of the stars in the sky
How many are there?
As many as my thoughts
that i can't fathom
that i can't place

I am thinking of the stars in the sky
I join the dots

Tiny moments

"You thought love was romantic gestures, but it’s actually right in between the big moments. It’s that day to day familiarity that nobody but they get to have with you. It’s about realizing that you are so incredibly known and still loved.

It’s in the boring life moments, the absence of drama, the absence of a need to worry about their intentions. They are there. You are there.

Love is in that level of familiarity that breeds a true connection, one that strengthens over time." - Thought Catalog

Good morning world! In the first hour of my Ethics class and multi-tasking (trying to). Read something this morning which i think is somewhat true. Love in people to people relations. Love can strengthen over time. (or maybe I am just being more aware of the love that has been shown to me)
Love is my dad getting my fish soup(no bitter gourd, no noodles just soup, add milk) lunch order wrong 3 weeks in a row and on the 4th week, me just saying fish soup being sufficient. He got my order right! 
Love is my mum insisting on massaging my head and my back because she knows i'm feeling unwell. (Love is also me allowing my mum to try weird massage/TCM techniques on me!!! haha)

Love is in that level of familiarity that breeds a true connection
My brother taking juice and me just stealing/drinking his juice all the time. Not only with my family, with my friends, especially. Exchanging looks to acknowledge an instance that took place; a fond memory, when some one else is talking; when a trigger takes place. 

one that strengthens over time
And the more I know you, the more you know me. The more we bother to. Will not our stars align? Will not the lines connect the dots in our life? 

Oops I did it again

So... this is a blogpost to publicly(kind of) admit of my non-ability to multi-task while driving. I swear i drive super safe when i drive alone but whenever people sit beside me, i get distracted.

Example:
Today, i had my gps at the bottom left side (NTS next time put it on the dashboard) and i was talking to a friend that was seated next to me. I... accidentally went past a full red light at a very confusing road form JE to clement. I really hope there were no cameras I don't wanna get any demerit points D; And well let's just say there were a few other blur moments.

I also can't multi-task when I am texting. So if you talk to me when I'm texting most of the time I barely register anything you said. Or i take like 1 minute to digest the conversation.

I am also thankful for the plans in this upcoming week! Little things that help make my school days brighter :)

which day

I want to pack up and leave

maybe i'll be able to make a difference to someone's life somewhere else
maybe they need me there

i'm not needed here

Until then

We're all strangers here

The pain is temporary

So it's alright if you can't 

Stop the 

Someday 

We'll touch The face 

And the sorrow will disappear 

Refresh

Some nights some days I allow

These memories to flood my mind

Is it not better

To remember and feel pain

Or is it worse

I cannot afford to let it

Disappear

To let it wash away

Next to nothing I will have

These are treasure

So

Some nights some days I allow

Katherine-s

Ellise didn't appear at work today and was slightly feeling meh because she left me to rejoice about Friday all alone in my office cubicle!!! However it still turned out to be an amazing Friday. Best thing was that boss had to do a site visit, together with Will and AikBin. They left at 3.30pm AND THEN I SLACKED ALL THE WAY UNTIL 6PM HAHAHAHAHA. Well, I planned for life group games and finished An Abundance of Katherines and then drank my Old Town 3in1 coffee(bad choice, gave me a stomach ache) and ate a small slice of butter cake.

I've decided that having slack work for my last 3 weeks and being bored is better than having so much things to do, plus being stressed.

Anyway, the Katherine book. Okay, I'm on a roll here; John Green roll~ AOK pales in comparison to TFIOS but it's still an okay book. It's about this genius, Collin, who has a thing for anagrams and has dated 19 Katherines in the past 8(?) years of his life. Once in awhile, there's this witty stupid humour which was unexpected and would make me lol (if i did remember it correctly. pardon me but the last time i read the first half of the book was half a year ago). He also has a cool, funny & fat (no surprise) sidekick called Hassan. Basically they decide to go on a summer adventure where Collin had fairly few Eureka encounters(and other sorts of painful & wonderful encounters).

-inserts fav quote from book-

“I feel like, like, how you matter is defined by the things that matter to you. You matter as much as the things that matter to you do. And I got so backwards, trying to make myself matter to him. All this time, there were real things to care about; real, good people who care about me, and this place. It’s so easy to get stuck. You just get caught in being something, being special or cool or whatever, to the point where you don’t even know why you need it; you just think you do.” - An Abundance of Katherines

There you go!
I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, 

Focus

Our highest calling as Christians can be simplified to loving God and loving our neighbor. There are many facets to this, including serving, generosity, compassion and ultimately making disciples—but all of these are built on loving God and neighbor.

By http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/there-more-life-marriage#iUaI2JItrOQJrKgO.99

Star crossed

"I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a Bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” 

Finished reading Faults and maaaan it was slightly depressing to have to go through Augustus' death twice - once in the movie and the other while reading. But I have to say the book is somehow less sad than the movie.. 

I loved many of the quotes in this book.. How does a guy think of all these quotes and stuff and weave it into a super good story??!??! Just how. 

“I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
- doesn't make much sense but it sounds good! 

"Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,”
“Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."

Everybody, tfios! Yes, I'm a sucker who threw myself onto this bandwagon & I'm not getting down~~~

Extraordinary, ordinary life

Finished watching About Time as recommended by Carl who I suspect is a hopeless romantic.(such rarity for a dude) After sleeping it through and thinking for the past 12hours or so since I woke up from my slumber I've decided the winner between AT & TFIOS. The winner is..

*drum rolls*

TFIOS!

Only because it was more...filled with brilliance throughout the movie? About Time wins the Moral of the Story award but it wasn't 24/7 engaging unlike TFIOS. RACHEL MCADAMS IS STILL BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND I STILL ADORE HER A LOT TOO THOUGH.

Currently reading TFIOS and I absolutely love the language used in the book (which I don't fully understand..but still). It's just so so so brilliant!! It's been so long since I've read a good book and even though I don't have the time to finish the book all at one go I'm super glad I'm back to reading again. My EL needs some reinforcement and re-training through reading!! Sometimes I can't even bring across my idea to my Australian-educated colleague because I can't find the right vocab to represent my thoughts. I think I'll go to the UK for my post-grad trip/work!! Need it.

"And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time; and I've even gone one step further than my father did: The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day, I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life."

The fault

But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me