Exchange has been long over and I miss Korea less and less (not because it wasn't any bit of awesome that it actually is) because this is the reality now and I shouldn't long for something which I know I can't get (for now) anyway. Also, school work and responsibilities; friends and families, they are grounding me more than ever.
It's week 6 of school (wait what?!) this coming week and I've been trying to be productive and putting in effort in my work. Cause I'm no longer on exchange and I can no longer score a A/B+ with my 1 day, 1 (wo)man work. I still feel SO lazy all the time and all I want to do is to eat sleep and exercise. (and earn easy money AKA PT tuition/earn money doing what I like AKA grabcar)
As my graduation day creeps in closer and closer, I can't help but feel pressured by who knows what, societal expectations and norms maybe? to know what I want to do/who to work for/plans for near future. I always give the same answer 'Somewhere in the hotel and tourism industry' but honestly what I really know for now is that I'm going to go travel and go for my grad trip with my friends. To do that, I have to save up (because unless you're filthy rich, money doesn't exactly just appear in your bank account), and to save up I obviously have to work so all I'm thinking about nowadays is 'should i get more tuition kids?', 'i can't wait for next sem maybe i will rent a car and do grabcar too'.
Then there's another part of me that is plotting some post-graduate study plans so that I don't have to enter the work force cause it is scary as hell. I'm jus afraid that once I step in, I'm never ever gonna get another break, never gonna get out. 40 years of your life working away.... that sucks :( unless of course you find something you are passionate about!
The last thing that I'm slightly freaking out about is that I still have 60 outstanding hours of COMPULSORY CIP hours to CLEAR. LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DO THAT IN 1 AND A HALF SEM?!?!? MY friend and I have contacted Meals on Wheels programme dude but it has been 2 weeks and they have yet to contact us with our volunteer stuffs??? To top it off, my school likes to be anal and gives stupid requirements eg 'Only can apply up to 3 different organisations'. So now I can't just change to the other organisation that my friend and I were looking at too. PLUS they don't accept CIP records after you've done them. You need to receive approval from the school at least 1 month before the commencement of the CIP. sigh please pray for me T_T this is the most annoying thing at the back of my mind now......
It's so easy to say that I will pray and trust God but doing it is another matter altogether.
: (
Ps. my brother is such a moody broody ass, wish I was back in Korea!!! (so i can adopt some other nicer brother there)
