Reunion.

Well, most people I know have it on the first day of CNY but my family, we have it on the second night. We have a massive steamboat sesh where everyone comes and eat together. You see, this year's a bit special. I saw something that really tugged at my heart. It's a bit sad...very sad actually. But better late than never.

You see I had an Uncle. He was a good guy. I wasn't close to him but the rare times that we interacted I knew he was good. However, he had his past, and he made mistakes - mistakes that resulted in consequences. He past away a few months ago from a heart attack. From what I know he was a fit person who enjoys exercising - a hobby he adopted over the years. That's scary because you may be fit but anything can still happen. You may be young and your life could be taken from you. Apparently he had a daughter that was lost in contact when she was young due to circumstances and he finally found her on fb recently. IKR the wonders of the internet. He planned to contact her and meet her again but it was too late.

I saw them. Daughter and mum came over and had reunion steamboat with us. It's sad because the daughter and father never had a chance. Fate can be cruel like that. But then again they found something - a Family. They found us, all of us.

I had a talk with my Uncle. Uh not the same one, the one I'm closest with, the one who has a gift in having deep conversations with people. It's funny how I'm able to speak these things with my Uncle rather than my Dad. Then again, my dad was not one to listen. He's not a very good listener - listening is not one of his talents. Don't get me wrong - I love my dad and all - but I've come to terms with who he is, his strengths and flaws.

So I realised that many don't understand me. That because I've learnt, I treasure relationships, people, much more than anything else. I would sleep later if a friend needs a listening ear. I would make time and go out, spend time with people when I am having a school sem and studying should be my priority. So I guess I get frustrated when adults insinuate that having good results is a must to get comfortable with life. "You need to get at least an Honours so that you will be provided the chances". I guess today I finally understood their point of view. They care, therefore they want me to be comfortable and be able to live the life that I want.

But if my priority is not looking at my own welfare, you can't blame me for not placing that as a goal...right?

I baked today.

Tomorrow's Valentines. What's new.


God I'm so tired... and I think my cupcakes look unappealing :(


Someone...Anyone... help. me. pack.

“She was lost in her longing to understand.”
—Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

And this is me trying to understand you

This is a non-intellectual post

Today is Thursday. But I keep thinking it's Friday. I need to finish packing. I have done up a packing list. But I have yet to pack half of what's needed. So far, I have managed to pile clothes and stuff ON my luggage. I will end my procrastination after dinner and proceed to push clothes into my luggage, making me feel better. I will then proceed to pack other things on my list. This is a boring post so far. you know I haven't showered for the whole of today and I should go and shower now. But you know what's my nickname? No not qtpie, the other one. Queen of procrastination; but since I am not of royal decent (how unfortunate. or fortunate?), I am merely a Peasant of procrastination. But then again I have peasants under me (If you do follow 1 particular instagram post of mine and was there during that particular incident) so I guess I am a Master of procrastination ^^ I am not doing paragraphs on purpose. It's meant to highlight my whole mumbling to self/rattling on blogpost.. I should go shower but I want to use my phone and read a book while listening to music, therefore I should shower. God I know I'm disgusting hehe but I still smell nice. Oh and I went for a facial today and it was goooood. I like wearing comfortable clothes; this is why I like to stay at home sometimes. Did I mention I continued to bid for my module today? And obviously being the noobass that I am, I was an hour late but thank goodness I still managed to bid something... I don't really like my timetable but I'd have to check with the SMU side before I can change anything again. That was some boring talk I'm sorry. I'm currently reading a book by Max Lucado called You'll Get Through This. The cover looked nice so I'm reading it. This is getting quite boring...oh and yesterday was Ning's birthday.

Happy Birthday my poopypants squishy fatboy of a brother. I hope you stop s**king you idiot. Hm, that looks wrong.


TL;DR: I did facial today. It was nice.

I can't help but to admit although I've shrugged you to the ends of my mind you still surface to my thoughts once in awhile. I know what's done can't be undone and I've long accepted the fate brought about by the events that happened - seemed like ages ago yet seemed like it was just yesterday. I know if circumstances (not just mine) were different, today I would not be like this. When an unknown comes together with an unknown, a thick impenetrable wall of uncertainty blocks out everything. Well, most.

Ah, am I being sentimental here? I don't know. Certain times I am very certain of what I feel, think or am. Yet other times I feel like I don't even know myself - which I've come to a conclusion that it is a result of my over-active, over-thinking mind. (Honestly though I can't be the only one facing this right? This is the very reason why some people can be so contradicting and erratic at times??)

Do you know how powerful our minds are? One can overrule what the heart desires with it. Overtime, the heart in lines with the mind and well, actually vice versa. Sometimes I know I need to be thinking with my brain and not my heart. But when do you draw the line?? Hmmm...

I hate being too logical. I go with the flow. My feelings(not just emotional wise more like gut feeling) lead me most of the time. Sometimes I don't know why I do what I do, I just do it anyway. You know the whole personality test thing?? I'm more Intuitive than anything.

Wait, this blogpost is going nowhere.

Welcome to the wonders and depths of a woman's mind where one thing leads to another :p

Okay, back to the whole Intuitive thing... It's my personality, and I think it's in built in me. Character can be trained but personality...? Highly doubt so. So getting back on this weird roller coaster ride...every atom in me wants to be more Intuitive and Spiritual and Hippy and "I feel therefore I am" but.

Cliffhangers, doesn't everyone love them? (my grammar is bad i was contemplating for quite long on whether it is a"don't" or a "doesn't")

The past few weeks has been hazey but today is a good day.

Today is Monday, a start to a brand new week and I found something that I haven't in those past weeks. Confidence - not that I've been insecure about myself - but confidence in what lies ahead. Time and again God has been tugging at my heart dropping this word in me but I didn't really eat it up, chew on it and digest it well. But now more than ever I know if there's anyone or anything I should ever trust it is obviously God. If something is needed to cast my doubts away it is to be in his presence.

Thankful for the encouragements and people/situations that God has given me to throw that T word in my face.

Also sermon on Saturday reminded me of something - that I don't need to care about what others say but care about what He says. My patience has been tested so much even though it's barely the start of 2015 but one touch is all it takes to calm this storm.

Beauty and beast

If you opened my heart

You'd see i don't have it all together

If you took me apart

You'd see the worst of me wants to get better

But you're changing me, piece by piece

Into who you're really calling me to be

Helped my mum cook today. Let's just say that I will stick to baking thank you very much. Although the veggies that I stir-fried tasted really good (maybe I'm biased), something unexpected happened...

sigh. I should've expected it. Obviously adding me into the equation of something that I'm unfamiliar with would cause... something out of the ordinary.

Basically,

THIS happened.

I thought I was gonna burn down the kitchen...thankfully that did not happen. 

Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love. 

Never forget this.