My dad is so confusing.
I've been pretty hurt from his words & tone recently and I've been trying hard to understand things from his pov but I'm still confused.
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We just had dinner, and over dinner my dad and mum was talking about the "itinerary" for my brother's graduation that will take place tomorrow. He did not know what the plan was and started to raise his voice and use an accusatory tone on my mother, 'Why you never ask him? Go and ask him so that I know'. In which I, being the mediator and big-mouth of the family, asked my dad why he had to speak in such a way, couldn't he have put it in a nicer way? I also told him that we all don't really know what's going to happen tomorrow so just text Ning.
I can't really remember what else was said except:
1) he isn't keen to go
2) "Poly is only A level like that what, also no need to go"
??!!?!?!?
Afterwards I think I wasn't being the most tactful but I went on to tell him that that's ridiculous and it's about being involved in every step of the way rather than just the end point.
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I heard from my mum that my dad wasn't there when I was born, or at least for me and kor. My parents weren't there when I was secondary 1 and I achieved a Best Recruit award from The Girls' Brigade (my CCA) Recruitment Training Camp. He probably doesn't know that I got voted as the prom queen during sec 4's graduation dinner. He wasn't there when I had my 21st birthday celebration.
I'm not saying my dad's all nasty, he is smart, he is hardworking, he brings home the bread and butter, he pays for my education, my needs and sometimes my wants, he brings my family to holidays. I don't rat on him, I appreciate being debt free, being able to lead a comfortable life, not having to worry about what to eat, drink or wear.
I just wished he would stop working so hard, and just be there for us more. Will he find his life meaningful? When all he remembers of his life is work, play, TV time and then the last tiny bit - spending time with people who genuinely care for him.
What is his love language? Does he love us? Are we an obligation? Why have children?
I don't get it...
#confused
