It sucks when you can't do anything to make things better

Hell week

I used to think that I'd never compromise my sleep(sleeping in on weekends, waking up naturally, without alarm) or meal consumption habits.

But then uni life began.

And I went through hell weeks in sem 1..
And now, sem 2.

It's 5pm and I haven't eaten my lunch. (Ain't nobody got time fo dat)

It's Good Friday and I've to wake up at 7.30am to go to school. Tomorrow is Saturday and I have 8.15am make up lesson.

But I guess it's still okay.
I've got all those who love me. And being able to make it into a local uni itself is somewhat good...right?

But if I don't get employed when I graduate I'm gonna rage so bad..

Quote of the season: Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

Parents like to correct their children. But when their child corrects them? What do they do? Come up with lots of excuses and not just say OK.

Seriously it's not like I'm telling you to go do some crazy batshit thing. All I'm saying is stop being so negative in your words. whats wrong with being encouraging?

(Edited because I feel less angst now)


And I know I'm making a big fuss but IT'S FREAKING WEEK 12 AND IM STRESSED ENOUGH and I can't take no more shit ok

And I don't expect anyone above 25 to understand or try to be nice but at least tone down the nagging for awhile.

Or maybe I should just

ASDFGHJLLAHAHA
Ok that was de-stressing

Love makes the world go round

So now let us learn to love like never before.


"In all honesty, we are only kidding ourselves when we say that we are “giving up on love.” Even if we could cut out every connection who cares for us, we would still be capable of feeling empathy, and desire, and compassion. To give up on love would be to give up on the sun, to give up on air, to give up on everything good about day-to-day life. You might delete your dating site account, you might say no to someone who asks you out on a Friday night, but you will still know what it looks like when someone wonderful comes into your life. Opportunities will come along and you will be only too happy to receive them, and that doesn’t make you needy or desperate. It makes you human, and capable of love, and very much worthy of having it in your life. "

-from thoughtcatalog.com

Love.yourself.
and then love the unlovable.

If only it's easy

Give me some time while I try to figure this out

saktan

the worst things in life come free to us

Really worried now :(

Ermagad guys.

Please don't do push ups on random exercising playground without a shirt on.

Maintain a bit can!!

Seriously, can't tank.

Woke up in the middle of the night from a dream.
Want to cry.

Why wasn't it real :(((((

i knew it was gonna happen.
yet i held on, to that last bit of hope.

Lol at those ah lian girls who walk pass and purposely smoke a puff while showing off.

You have no idea how gross you are to 7/10 people.

Like ew.

What i really really really want

Meet Dozer. LE DREAM DOG. WTS GERMAN SHEPHERD X HUSKY.

IS THIS WHAT HEAVEN IS LIKE?

FILLED W DOZER-S?!?!

Just look at this piece of thing that is art.

This work of art by God. 

Look at the eyes, it's the most specialest thing ever like half GS eyes half husky 

LIKE SO COOL OMG LEMME TOUCH YOU PLS.

i would literally give up all my bank account savings for this doggy :(

someone pretty please inform santa. or my mom. or dad. or like a generous donor.

i would forgo all my xmas presents from now on just for him :(

i would also literally slash myself and donate blood or whatever to get him :((

I WOULD EVEN EAT BITTER GOURD AND NUTS AND SLEEP EARLY FOR ONCE.

HE IS UP FOR ADOPTION FER GOODNESS SAKE :'((((

i don't want no car

i don't want no angpao money

i don't want no gucci prada or new bag

i don't want no louboutins

i don't want no new guitar or drums

i don't want no new big house

i don't want no new phone

ALL I WANT IS HIM :'<

slashwrist.stabsself.cryariver.drowns.repeat.

nobody understands me/this they think it's a big fat joke >:(

A levels

Is it weird that i have no idea how normal people would be feeling on the day that they receive their A Level results?

I mean i can't even remember how i was feeling.
i think it was like nothing. i was feeling nothing.
and i think i just wanted to get it over and done with and run away from all these people around me and just go home.

i vaguely remember entering the hall and Jacelyn spotted me and we hugged and she cried...(I DIDNT OK) and maybe like a few rows of people were staring but i didn't care.
and i asked her why she wasn't sitting with her class and feeling proud of her that she scored well.

Then i saw my class.
Sat down.
Awkward eye contact with Vanessa and QZ and me trying to act like everything is okay.

*proceeded to stone and zone out*
*casual remarks of "why is it taking so long"*
*turns around and look at other people in the hall*

The usual happened. Teacher comes up and talk. Principal went up and showed some results thingy.
Smart people went up.
Applause.
end.

Go line up and take your results yay.

Took my results. Don't know how to feel.
Went to pick-up area, waited for my cousin in law to pick me up and fetch me home.

Received many "That's really good and We're so proud of you" (but it's actually not very good righttttttttttttttttt)


ONE YEAR HAS PASSED.
and i know for sure one thing that is common.
i feel the nothing, the don't know what to feel, the don't know how to feel, the waiting for something, the-.