what the dream

I DREAMT THAT I WENT TO CLUBMED KANI AND WAS ABOUT TO DRESS UP FOR DINNER, TOOK THE KEYS FROM MY COUSIN, WENT INTO MY ROOM TO FIND OUT THAT I DID NOT PACK FOR THE TRIP.

AKA MY MUM THREW CLOTHES INSIDE AND I DIDN'T HAVE NICE DRESSES TO WEAR.

IT WAS A NIGHTMARE.


Pretty much shows how under prepared I am for this Dec's Kani trip. Too busy to shop #how

Xmas bash

Tonight will finally be the night I get to sleep in until past 12!!! (Although I have to go red hill area at 2..)

The past few weeks have been crazy and busy! After finishing my exams, there was my birthday party to prepare for, sherry's bday surprise, xmas bash prep... Decembers have always been fun filled and exciting but also always so packed and busy! More so this year because I have my Korea Exchange application to handle and it's been at the back of my mind, annoying me. But wow the past 3 weeks were very well spent :) especially the past few days... :)))) I really enjoyed myself even in this physical tiredness. Got to speak to a few people and shared about our lives. It was good. Xmas bash '14 was also AMAZING. It's such a waste that it's not a week long kind of event hahahaha. 

So anyway... It will be kind of weird suddenly not spending massive amount of time with the Lifegroup for the later part of this week. Even weirder when I will go exchange :( yes I am sad siiigggghhhhhh

What am I gonna dooo~

I am gonna miss chuuu~

21?

Guys.

I had my 21st party and it was awesome.

still basking in that post what-just-happened-bliss and I wished someone took a HD video of the performance hehe.

xoxoxooxxo

Selective hearing

Earlier today, sitting in my dad's car while he lombang-ed me home... My mum called and I decided to "Waazzzaaap!" her, only to have my dad questioning in the background "huh what? Why you ask me to watch out? *starts nagging about how it's dangerous blabla*

#selectivehearing!!!

After reaching home and parking the car...at this particular ew parking lot.

I start telling him about how this lot is not good because of how spiders always crawl on to the car. 

*starts telling him about that time when there was a spider when I opened the door & promptly shut it, getting in only from the other side*

Dad: "is the spider the brown one; around this size?"

Me: "yayayayaaaa so disgusting!!!" *goes on about the grossness of that spider*

Dad: IGNORES ME & starts telling me about how when he was young they catch that spider to have spider fights...

#selectivehearing!!!

Anyway, mobile blogging at 6:16am because I just came back from a fruitful overnight study sesh :) I'm so tired now though; eyes can't help but close upon themselves. 

Oh btw I'm actually tuitioning this kid science.. &I have yet to tell my parents about it haha.. I figured they may nag about how I should be studying but instead I chose this period to take up stuff like this.. So yeah. 

And this korean 알바 girl at One Thing 카페 told me something funny today! She said I'm 예뻐요 & "너 내 스타일야." 

How can it beeeeeeee..........

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou

hmmm

hmmmmmmmm,

hmmm

hmm


hmmmm...

“…just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter. 1:16)


Something interesting on a Saturday morning...

http://phyliciadelta.com/why-we-should-stop-asking-how-far-is-too-far/

Songs bring about memories. very much for me. this goes the same for scents!

The very strong memory accompanied by listening to Skyway Avenue by We The Kings(and also the reason why i eventually stopped listening to that song).

I think it happened when I was in Secondary school. Noobie goodie 2 shoes sec 4 siwei walks up the spiral staircase in BBSS. she had been liking this new song she discovered through her brother playing songs on his laptop. having learnt the lyrics of the chorus, she was singing it to Cindy her ddp, while climbing up the stairs.

"Cause if you jump I will jump too
We will fall together from the building's ledge
Never looking back at what we've done we'll say it was love
Cause I will fall for you on skyway avenue"

Halfway through the chorus, halfway through those steps...HER EYECANDY AND FRIEND walked down. needless to say, she was very embarrassed and took quite awhile before she got over the trauma of singing songs loudly in public.

Actually thinking back, my eyecandy also not very cute haha. nobody in bbss was like cute/good looking unless you're talking about sec 1s qtpies. ahhhh XIANG DANG NIAN. i was so innocent and i didn't know about a looooot of things.

i don't know but at that moment there was something

something i've yet to understand or be able to explain

몰라

요즘 많이생각있어요.니가왜나한테이렇게.얘가왜많이스털킹했어요.동생가왜얘기싫은데.제가다액션는진심이예요?
사랑진짜쉬어아닌데요.마음이도몰라요.이해업슴.

아아아아ㅏㅇ많이일있는 때 진짜 자쯩나.

여행 기다려중.여행 필여해.


오늘아주귀여웠어..ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

몰라몰라몰라
시크렛 브럭 가자!!
안녕.
내년 한국에 간다
신난다
제가 보고싶을거예요?

“Kindness doesn’t mean that we don’t express our anger,” Julie Gottman explained, “but the kindness informs how we choose to express the anger. You can throw spears at your partner. Or you can explain why you’re hurt and angry, and that’s the kinder path.”

John Gottman elaborated on those spears: “Disasters will say things differently in a fight. Disasters will say ‘You’re late. What’s wrong with you? You’re just like your mom.’ Masters will say ‘I feel bad for picking on you about your lateness, and I know it’s not your fault, but it’s really annoying that you’re late again.’”

Cool article!
Will re-read and put more thoughts on it when i have the time.

http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11

When darkness turns to light

Guess what i found when i got home today!!! 

THIS.

So i was digging through ning's drawers, trying to find the guitar strap but then i found this instead. i seriously thought the army people took this away. you have no idea how so very happy i am to have this. you see he didn't really leave a lot for us behind. my brother was a minimalist(basically just stingy with his money); so he didn't keep a lot nor did he wear much accessories. 

You know he was stingy but i'll always remember this time in 2011 when we celebrated my mum's birthday. i bought the stuffs(as always) and we decided to split the cake+present money amongst the 3 of us. when i was about to collect the $10+ from him, he gave me $50 and asked me to keep the change. maaaan that was the first time i thought 'hey army really changed my brother!' 

You know i was always proud of my brother. i don't know if he knew that but he was the smartest person to me. always. from the times when he scored so well in PSLE such that he entered RVHS til when he represented his school to go to some science competition that got aired on TV. (which led to us family making fun of him doing the 'river valley!' pose) he was so talented. he played the piano, attained grade 8 and is in his school's choir. never sings out of tune, also used to help me tune the guitar by ear. one of the proudest moments was when i was there during his POP. that surge of pride when they threw their caps, thinking "my brother's in there!!!".

But then i regret being busy in JC/playing too much post A levels and not being able to be there for his other milestones. i didn't even know he was a sergeant and i wasn't there when he became one. he's a combat engineer - that i know - i heard they go through some tough shit. so whenever someone talked army i tell them my bro's a combat engineer(boasting like the only talent i have is my brother). i should've been there. that's why for the first few times i was invited to be there for other people's POP i made excuses to not be there. it reminds me of my brother also, i want that POP experience to be special. "i only went for my bro's one, no one elses'". this also applies to all the comms ball and that kind of invitation. that explains why i rejected 5 people even though i was pretty inclined to almost say yes at the end... people have no idea how much ARMY stuff just reminds me of my brother... well it got better because basically i was suddenly surrounded by a whole group of new NSFs, i sort of got used to all these army talks.

Today i went to sing karaoke with a few peeps. it was fun :) i also wished i asked you to teach me how to sing. well, i did but i wished i was persistent with it so that you would've gotten down to really teaching me. you know, i miss your singing. (even though you won't stop singing The Cab...) i also miss your piano seshes. i can't believe i can't remember that exam piece that you kept playing. i used to sometimes find it so annoying to get woken up by you playing the piano on weekends.(ning prolly doesn't cause he sleeps like a log) i can't help if i'm not a morning person and love sleeping in... but now i wished you were a bit more of a tech savy guy who videoed yourself playing the piano and posted them somewhere. 

You know sometimes i sit in the dining room and think what if you just came home like usual, like nothing happened at all. 

Yes i am currently re-evaluating every single thing in my life.

three-quarter school life crisis

Today is

One of the days when I look back and really miss Secondary school life/College life. I realise that there is this hollow in my heart because what was there is now gone.

There are certain friendships that i wished would last. There are certain friendships that i wished i had tried harder.

You see i'm someone that is really bad at this whole "meeting up with friends" thing. Almost always i have been asked out by people. I used to not even try to start up conversations to ask about my friends but i have been trying since then.

So i'm sorry i hadn't tried hard enough. i'm sorry i allowed this to slip. i'm sorry i'm not there for you right now, i'm sorry that i couldn't keep my promise.

i wish i could.

I was a little enlightened

http://www.moisom.com/faith/i-just-got-engaged-and-immediately-doubted-my-decision-heres-why-i-still-said-yes/#.VE5EqKoazCQ

Ahhhhhh

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like I understand myself like 90/100.
Other times I feel like I don't understand myself at all.

Sometimes I feel like I know everything.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know at all.

Sometimes
Times like today...

I feel like
playing iPhone/Macbook app games all day :3


Happy Monday : D

I am getting old

Growing up doesn't seem as appealing as it did 10 years ago. I've learned - the hard way - that growing up also means death catching up with you. 

Just found out that one of my uncle in Penang passed away this evening. Even though i'm not close to him but you know CNY is just going to be slightly different with one less uncle asking you "How old are you? Where are you studying?" commenting "Wow you're so tall." all in Chinese with a Malaysian accent. 

Gone are the days where I could "boast" that I've never been to a funeral before and have no idea how it goes like. 

Sometimes in certain situations there is a need for one to act differently. One may be in terms of giving: stepping out of your comfort zone, giving your time, acts, attention to others. Other times you have to take: you withhold what you truly intend to do, you hold back on your actions, your thoughts, your feelings.

Both for the best interests of the other party. 

I wished I knew clearly when to give and take. For now, it's a gamble.

Sometimes i feel so conflicted.

Are we looking at too much details that we fail to see the bigger picture?
What actually really matters - the heart.

Also it sucks to downplay &not be yourself

Kranji heritage trail

Yesterday was a very fun day and i want to blog about the places we went and the things we did but i'm so tired and lazy right now haha.

so here's a picture to summarise that day.

Bollywood Veggies

We went to experience kampong

We wore blue

We wore caps

We walked in the rain

We played in the rain

We played fungo

We laughed

We ate at Bistro

We pet doggies

We walked and walked and walked

We saw huge fishes

We also celebrated Carlisle's bday :)

Give thanks

I'm really thankful for people who understand me;

I'm really thankful that I have friends that stay so near me. Just a text and I can pop over their house. I'm thankful that I'm able to share everything and just pour out my annoyance. Honestly don't know what I'd do without them. I may not be the best person in times of great annoyance and I need space and time to dissipate the emotions.

I'm thankful for those who tries to cheer me up and calm me down. A smiley face is better than none.

I'm thankful to God that He places these people in my life so that I have the balance. I'm thankful because I'm not the person who likes to readily share deep stuff to people. I'm thankful that there are people that I can connect to that I'm so comfortable with. I'm thankful that they can tolerate my nonsense.

I'm not the best with words or gifts. But I really do appreciate y'all.

친구들,사랑해 : )

hmmm

Watched Left Behind today...
I now feel depressed.

Also feel so tired and sleepy

don't know why I've been feeling so sleepy and tired for the past week.. :(
body can't even go past 12am


Also i feel like sometimes i don't understand myself.

Also apocalyptic movies make me sad.
and feel like 'why am i on earth' & 'why are people so evil'

"Leave space to linger just a bit after dinner around the sticky farm table.

Leave space for friendships less pixilated by getting off the computer and seeking more face-to-face time.

Leave space for laughter and loud singing on car rides long or short.

Leave space for the to-do lists to prioritize people, not just projects.

Leave space for the talks and walks and the crazy inside jokes.

Leave space for folding his collar over his tie.

Leave space for the unrushed yes." 

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/09/the-thrill-of-an-unrushed-yes/

Hello Cody

Idk but is September the season for guys to bug girls on fb or...

Anyway today i went to Mabel's house and played with her doggies!!!! okay actually i went to her house to do some strat work but i really just couldn't wait to meet her doggies. (Y MUST SHE SHIFT ALL THE WAY TO THE EAST!?!?!?) So first time we met each other outside of school and i (the obv very sacrificial friend) went all the way to the EAST side of singapore.

So her house has cool balconies, has four stories and has a lift. A LIFT. the people in the house don't even use their stairs hahahaha wts. And of course she has 3 doggies - a german shepherd, border collie, and mongrel. Ryder, her gs is so huge now!!! I remember when he used to be small and cute! K so Benji the mongrel's generally scared of other people(rescue dog..quite common trait). And when i wanted to enter her gate all 3 dogs were like madly barking at me hahahha. Then i had to let them sniff me and they got excited and licked my hands and the barking stopped. I love doggies but i loved border collies/australian shepherd kinda doggies first.

SO LET ME PRESENT TO YOU...

CODY

Look at that derp face hehehehehehe. And when you stop petting him, he knows to hold up his paw to touch you. TOO QT.

Yeah and after that had to go back to school for group meeting and after i followed her to SOE to book a gsr. Guess what she did. She tried to matchmake me to one of her indian friend HAHAHAHHA. 

"Eh the indian cute right, i give him your number ah"

hahahaha

Mondays are good :>

Stars in the sky

"Your mouth is a revolver firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier, loyal till you die
And I've been looking at the stars for a long, long time
I've been putting out fires all my life
Everybody wants a flame, but they don't want to get burnt
And today is our turn"

----------------------------------------------------------------
I am thinking of the stars in the sky
I am thinking of the beach
The sound of waves softly crawling, caressing;
they making an advance then retreat

I am thinking of the stars in the sky
I lie on the beach
I think i see that shooting star
did it blink or was it a wink
Was that a sign, i thought
then it passed

I am thinking of the stars in the sky
How many are there?
As many as my thoughts
that i can't fathom
that i can't place

I am thinking of the stars in the sky
I join the dots

Tiny moments

"You thought love was romantic gestures, but it’s actually right in between the big moments. It’s that day to day familiarity that nobody but they get to have with you. It’s about realizing that you are so incredibly known and still loved.

It’s in the boring life moments, the absence of drama, the absence of a need to worry about their intentions. They are there. You are there.

Love is in that level of familiarity that breeds a true connection, one that strengthens over time." - Thought Catalog

Good morning world! In the first hour of my Ethics class and multi-tasking (trying to). Read something this morning which i think is somewhat true. Love in people to people relations. Love can strengthen over time. (or maybe I am just being more aware of the love that has been shown to me)
Love is my dad getting my fish soup(no bitter gourd, no noodles just soup, add milk) lunch order wrong 3 weeks in a row and on the 4th week, me just saying fish soup being sufficient. He got my order right! 
Love is my mum insisting on massaging my head and my back because she knows i'm feeling unwell. (Love is also me allowing my mum to try weird massage/TCM techniques on me!!! haha)

Love is in that level of familiarity that breeds a true connection
My brother taking juice and me just stealing/drinking his juice all the time. Not only with my family, with my friends, especially. Exchanging looks to acknowledge an instance that took place; a fond memory, when some one else is talking; when a trigger takes place. 

one that strengthens over time
And the more I know you, the more you know me. The more we bother to. Will not our stars align? Will not the lines connect the dots in our life? 

Oops I did it again

So... this is a blogpost to publicly(kind of) admit of my non-ability to multi-task while driving. I swear i drive super safe when i drive alone but whenever people sit beside me, i get distracted.

Example:
Today, i had my gps at the bottom left side (NTS next time put it on the dashboard) and i was talking to a friend that was seated next to me. I... accidentally went past a full red light at a very confusing road form JE to clement. I really hope there were no cameras I don't wanna get any demerit points D; And well let's just say there were a few other blur moments.

I also can't multi-task when I am texting. So if you talk to me when I'm texting most of the time I barely register anything you said. Or i take like 1 minute to digest the conversation.

I am also thankful for the plans in this upcoming week! Little things that help make my school days brighter :)

which day

I want to pack up and leave

maybe i'll be able to make a difference to someone's life somewhere else
maybe they need me there

i'm not needed here

Until then

We're all strangers here

The pain is temporary

So it's alright if you can't 

Stop the 

Someday 

We'll touch The face 

And the sorrow will disappear 

Refresh

Some nights some days I allow

These memories to flood my mind

Is it not better

To remember and feel pain

Or is it worse

I cannot afford to let it

Disappear

To let it wash away

Next to nothing I will have

These are treasure

So

Some nights some days I allow

Katherine-s

Ellise didn't appear at work today and was slightly feeling meh because she left me to rejoice about Friday all alone in my office cubicle!!! However it still turned out to be an amazing Friday. Best thing was that boss had to do a site visit, together with Will and AikBin. They left at 3.30pm AND THEN I SLACKED ALL THE WAY UNTIL 6PM HAHAHAHAHA. Well, I planned for life group games and finished An Abundance of Katherines and then drank my Old Town 3in1 coffee(bad choice, gave me a stomach ache) and ate a small slice of butter cake.

I've decided that having slack work for my last 3 weeks and being bored is better than having so much things to do, plus being stressed.

Anyway, the Katherine book. Okay, I'm on a roll here; John Green roll~ AOK pales in comparison to TFIOS but it's still an okay book. It's about this genius, Collin, who has a thing for anagrams and has dated 19 Katherines in the past 8(?) years of his life. Once in awhile, there's this witty stupid humour which was unexpected and would make me lol (if i did remember it correctly. pardon me but the last time i read the first half of the book was half a year ago). He also has a cool, funny & fat (no surprise) sidekick called Hassan. Basically they decide to go on a summer adventure where Collin had fairly few Eureka encounters(and other sorts of painful & wonderful encounters).

-inserts fav quote from book-

“I feel like, like, how you matter is defined by the things that matter to you. You matter as much as the things that matter to you do. And I got so backwards, trying to make myself matter to him. All this time, there were real things to care about; real, good people who care about me, and this place. It’s so easy to get stuck. You just get caught in being something, being special or cool or whatever, to the point where you don’t even know why you need it; you just think you do.” - An Abundance of Katherines

There you go!
I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, 

Focus

Our highest calling as Christians can be simplified to loving God and loving our neighbor. There are many facets to this, including serving, generosity, compassion and ultimately making disciples—but all of these are built on loving God and neighbor.

By http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/there-more-life-marriage#iUaI2JItrOQJrKgO.99

Star crossed

"I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a Bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” 

Finished reading Faults and maaaan it was slightly depressing to have to go through Augustus' death twice - once in the movie and the other while reading. But I have to say the book is somehow less sad than the movie.. 

I loved many of the quotes in this book.. How does a guy think of all these quotes and stuff and weave it into a super good story??!??! Just how. 

“I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
- doesn't make much sense but it sounds good! 

"Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,”
“Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."

Everybody, tfios! Yes, I'm a sucker who threw myself onto this bandwagon & I'm not getting down~~~

Extraordinary, ordinary life

Finished watching About Time as recommended by Carl who I suspect is a hopeless romantic.(such rarity for a dude) After sleeping it through and thinking for the past 12hours or so since I woke up from my slumber I've decided the winner between AT & TFIOS. The winner is..

*drum rolls*

TFIOS!

Only because it was more...filled with brilliance throughout the movie? About Time wins the Moral of the Story award but it wasn't 24/7 engaging unlike TFIOS. RACHEL MCADAMS IS STILL BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND I STILL ADORE HER A LOT TOO THOUGH.

Currently reading TFIOS and I absolutely love the language used in the book (which I don't fully understand..but still). It's just so so so brilliant!! It's been so long since I've read a good book and even though I don't have the time to finish the book all at one go I'm super glad I'm back to reading again. My EL needs some reinforcement and re-training through reading!! Sometimes I can't even bring across my idea to my Australian-educated colleague because I can't find the right vocab to represent my thoughts. I think I'll go to the UK for my post-grad trip/work!! Need it.

"And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time; and I've even gone one step further than my father did: The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day, I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life."

The fault

But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me

Weird relationship thoughts

It's been so long since I've posted anything!!

Anyway there's just something that's on my mind ever since idk TFIOS or something. I realised that... I might have a certain tiny bit fear of being in a relationship with a significant other. I mean it's probably just my random mind conjuring all sorts of things but... it's pretty scary right?!

OK hear me out.

FYI this is me:
-your not so typical girl who used to think 21 is just about the right mature age to get into a r/s and get married at like what, 24?
-your not so typical girl who don't just date but believes in knowing someone, starting out as friends then idk LT relationship kind of thing
-your not so typical girl who hopes that her first significant other will also turn out to be the last.

So given all the above assumptions about me (idk if the above still applies today), it would totally suck if for example you get together with someone and for some unknown reason YOU BREAK UP WITH THEM.
For e.g.
1) He doesn't love you anymore
2) You don't love him anymore(yes, i'm being insecure about my ability to love)
3) Both of you had a different calling (this is Christianese, ignore if you do not understand)
4) Either or both of you gets cancer and he dies first before you because he freaking lit up light a Christmas tree (sorry I had to)

And well, the list goes on.

CAN U IMAGINE being together with somebody (for super long, like 8years) and boom, you realise that your life is meant to be led differently from your S.O. annnnnd you break up. Oh that heart break I can't... Yes, you could probably survive and "recover" from something like that but a piece of your heart is just

You know what would really suck? If I was the loser that would be the person that said "Let's break up, because XXXXXX." I'm such a dedicated, loyal individual... I would.. never.... BUT if it ever happens (pls no) I would hate myself so much lol.

#randompostover

There's no point in doing something with a group of people when half of them don't have the heart to do it right?

They'll just tire you and pull you down

Intern Hoe updates

So today before i was about to knock off...


Colleague: "Eh so do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: "Nope."

C: "Really??"

Me: "Ya..." -inserts awkward laughter-

C: "Then you must have a lot of suitors la!"

Me: "No la!!"

C: "Cannot be!"


I don't know.. but is it that weird to not be attached at my age? At least 50%* of my friends are not attached okay.. chill people chill
I'll start worrying 5 years down after i've passed my target marriage age (LOL).

Anyway, if anyone asks if you have a lot of suitors there's only one answer right? I mean there is no way you can ever sound humble by saying yes HAHAAHA

No but seriously i don't have any suitors. sad face.jpeg

Anyone???? jk


Ps. It's a female colleague you judgemental people who jump into conclusions tsk tsk
*The above statistic is based on my current non-existent math estimation skill.

I don't really like office life..

I want to blog and update about my life but today i had 2 meetings after lunch and for the first time since i started internship since last wednesday i felt like time past quite fast. Also i am mentally drained out by work, dealing with unresponsive gb girls/redirect them in planning for CIP/some personal misunderstandings.

I need to complete my marketing plan draft 1 by Weds so i'll only be free after weds to plan up and apply for next next seam's overseas exchange.. hmmm CAN'T WAIT TO GO OVERSEAS YEY.

Let me sleep

Just received the long awaited email from Bettr Barista on my internship position...and i got rejected :((((( i'm soooo sad now i'll just go and mope and sulk at a corner on my bed..

SIGH. When will my internship search end???

I'm mentally drained now so tired i think i'll take a well deserved nap. (I had an accounting paper this morning, the horror)

I did not sign up for this education style

My mid exam crisis thoughts:

Why am i studying for Management Accounting when i don't like accounting at all and don't plan to take on any financial or accounting job roles in the future?!?!

Sure, i find it interesting that i get to learn something other than the the rest of the modules i am required to take but what really turns me off in my whole learning journey is this really bad bad word - Exam. But why am i still doing the exam thing?

1) Because of expectations. If anyone around me didn't care about the grade i am getting i would not be so stressed over exams. All this stress is rather unnecessary and i do not like it one bit. I would study for subjects i like and well for the others...

2) My curriculum is catered in such a way that there are certain modules that i cannot fail no matter how bad i am at it because failure would mean that one has to re-take that module all over again. Oh the nightmare.

Why can't we just learn stuff, do up projects that actually allow us to implement our knowledge, have quizzes here and there just to help the learning to settle in better...and get rid of the EOY exam thing? I mean honestly i don't remember much of the things i've learnt e.g. Analytical Skills, Marketing, Financial Accounting, Finance. The things that i do remember are from Management Communication, the way i should bring across good news, bad news, the way i should craft emails(i do use the learning points taught every now and then). Also, i've learnt this module called Computer as an Analysis Tool and honestly, it's one of the most useful and interesting classes i've experienced so far. (Basically they teach you how to meddle with cool excel formulas and functions)

Sigh honestly don't know what i've gotten myself into. Should have researched for a much better education system out there and go ahead with that rather than being brainwashed and mindlessly persuaded by all these pro-local-university people.

If you are a person who seem pretty happy-go-lucky and has priority over finding your own joy as compared to getting good grades, good degree, high paying job, big house...you get the deal... I have a HUGE advice for you that may be the best advice ever existed at this point of time when you are choosing your higher education: DO NOT jump onto this bandwagon and find another better style of education!!! Which probably means an overseas university which is well known and expensive and if you do not have the required funding to go ahead with the uni of your choice? Well...suck your thumb, get prepared for unnecessary stress and create a blog just like i did to rant everything out AND... go back to studying T_T

The last line made me cry

Random find

http://contactrida.com/2014/03/21/open-letter-to-miriam-weeks/

This is a good read! It's a little late to talk about that issue that has been circulating around the web in early March but...I really liked what this author said about it. Super disapprove as to what this Mariam girl propagates through her explanation or excuses as to what she is doing to support herself.

This is what she wrote, knowing that it would most probably turn viral.
http://www.xojane.com/sex/duke-university-freshman-porn-star

As if individuals perception's of the whole porn/sex thing is already not warped..

Major 헐.

Soul seoul

http://seoulistic.com/what-to-do-in-korea/101-things-to-do-in-seoul-huge-bucket-list/

I want to go Seoul and tick all of this off!!

Really can't wait to secure an internship and plan for a trip with the remaining days that I have.. If possible.
어떤생각해요?ㅋㅋ

I mean.. isn't it cool if you have those night snack shops almost everywhere near your neighbourhood?? How easy to get some supper! Of course even easier for me to gain some weight.. Sigh i've been trying to control what i eat these days but it's so hard T_T Can i be a food tester all my life? hehee

To see you high and lifted up

Open the eyes of my heart Lord
open the eyes of my heart
i want to see you
i want to see you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9jqI4svrNY

God is not done with you.

food for thought

"What is your aim in life?
Acceptance or authenticity?" - D

Do you go for bare minimum to hit the criteria? Or the real deal?

I should sleep more

4. Weight gain

People who are underslept seem to have hormone imbalances that are tied to increased appetite, more cravings for high-calorie foods, a greater response to indulgent treats, and a dampened ability to control their impulses — a very dangerous combination. It’s true that you burn more calories when awake, but not nearly enough to cancel out the many excess calories you consume when exhausted.

11. Distractedness

Having trouble paying attention to what you’re reading or listening to? Struggling with anything that requires you to truly focus? “Attention tasks appear to be particularly sensitive to sleep loss,” researchers have noted. If you want to stay alert and attentive, sleep is a requirement. Otherwise, you enter “an unstable state that fluctuates within seconds and that cannot be characterized as either fully awake or asleep,” and your ability to pay attention is variable at best.

-http://www.businessinsider.sg/what-happens-if-you-dont-get-enough-sleep-2014-2/#.Uy3aatwxElI

This is why i think it's perfectly normal for me to find it so hard to wake up early!! My body is telling me that sleep is so much more important than everyone else is taking it to be. Is my lack of sleep the reason why i've been craving for food and unable to stop myself from eating?? (I usually crave food but at least i'm able to think through whether i need  to eat it or not) IS this why i find it so hard to concentrate for my lectures?? (Although i must say i noticed that i seemed to act like i have ADHD since sec 3, when my friend told me that i cannot stay still for more than a minute) 

gasp.

Time to skip lessons :D haha... Can't afford to because i'm not a genius. I think i'm better than IQ games and questions than all these exams from my mods... Like if to get a job i'd choose the path where they make you take some mcq quiz thing which has an IQ section rather than submit my official documents. 

I digress. Well, hm. Goodnight.

Parable of the lost sheep

The Parable of the Lost Sheep is one of Jesus’ well-known parables. In Luke, it appears in chapter 15 as part of a triumvirate of parables—Lost Sheep, Lost Coin, Prodigal Son.

Within the parable, there are three major players:

1. The Shepherd
2. The Lost Sheep
3. The Ninety-Nine (Loyal) Sheep

Typical interpretation of the parable makes Jesus out to be the Shepherd, the sinner to be the Lost Sheep, and believers to be the Ninety-Nine. I wonder if this is the only way to interpret this parable.

While Jesus’ parables are typically likening the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth in some fashion, they usually do so in the third person (correct me if I’m wrong here). In this case, Jesus sets his audience in the shoes of the shepherd. It is not a king or some woman or a wealthy landowner of some kind. It is “you.”

Is it possible that at different stages, in different situations and times, we are all three characters in this parable? Sometimes we’re the shepherd, going after lost sheep. Sometimes we’re the ninety-nine faithful who hang back. Sometimes we’re the lost sheep who has gone astray.

I suppose there could even be a fourth character in the parable: the friends who rejoice with the shepherd when he returns. Perhaps we’re they too.

Adapted from - http://www.witheringfig.com/new-testament/the-parable-of-the-lost-sheep-luke-154–7/

Found this online. Thought this is so true. Different phases of our lives, we may have encountered one of the above characters, or have been any one of them. But i know for sure that i do not want to be the lost sheep. I'm pretty sure once in a while we feel lost, but it's never good to be in a cycle of feeling good then feeling lost. Our reaction to that "feeling" should also be different each time round - it shows our maturity in our walk with God. Do you feel sad at your own state? Or do you immediately call out to God to bring you out and refresh you once again?

I'm glad that I chose the path to rely on Him and set my emotions aside. To not reason but instead trust. Stupid? Nope. Difficult? Yep. Who said this was easy? 

But His love covers it all.

And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. (1 Corinthians 2:12 NLT)

Sunday no funday

Going school for project on a sunday.. yay...

Things that cheer me up this sunday thou:
-i get to drive to school
-i am falling more and more in love with my macbook
-i just ate chendol from bengawan solo
-i woke up ay 11am+
-i just watched a video that has a husky
-today's work to do is excel and baking related so it's not boring
TBC

BUT why

My source of entertainment has placed a security password!!! Is there even ANY common lame bloggers like me out there?? I just wanna know what other mundane fun stuff happens in other peoples' lives man. Someone give my back my source of entertainment :( why my friends all stopped blogging??

Anyway, i had less than 3 hours of sleep last night and when i woke up i was thinking about last night's project things that i was doing.. so i was SO confused in the morning and couldn't put my thoughts together. Somehow this made me really uneasy and i was just feeling weird and scared and confused.. Is this how a fish out of water feels like??
After morning class, slept walked and travelled back to the west only to get "SIWEI-ed". Hence ended up eating Subway with Peiru and Christina. GB was good today! Never boring with these bunch of people. Both officers&helpers as well as my kiddos. I was OIC today!! A very happy and proud OIC. Because everyone has to ask permission from me to do things. (ok not for everything..) But it was fun cause i kept annoying Peiru and Jaslyn with "Okay i give you permission to..." Also, OIC stands for Oh Wei Bo Wei-in charge. hahahahaha. If i start to #owbw #ohweibowei you, please don't mind me.

After went for life group which consisted of me, wy, sherry and yuling! It was fun even though it was only a small group of us. I was reeaaally tired so my face must've been :| or :/ or :\ Sherry made me climb the mountains and hills and stairs in NUS!!! Ended up being at the best place to chillax - Starbucks. But working at PB has made me noticed how Starbucks make their coffee and made me realise how cheap their coffee is!! Now i think twice about buying coffee.. Because honestly a cup of coffee for $6 is so not worth it. But once in awhile.. it's okay to give into that temptation, that craving..right?

BTW i spotted my ex-eye candy the other day!!! How do i even explain how i felt? It's like.. it was embarrassing that i wanna hide but then again i wanna be there, so i didn't really feel like leaving. This only proves one thing: I AM A FAITHFUL GIRL :P

hoehoemistletoe's 30DAYS

I've decided to start my very own 30days challenge!! Sticking to something for 30days straight is not that easy for me considering how much i like to procrastinate and how flickle minded i am.. Am currently doing a photo challenge right now. I must warn you i am no professional photographer so my pictures may just look...meh. But i like taking photos and i like trying to make my photos look artistic and pretty! So come on over and join me in my challenge :D

http://hoehoemistletoe.wordpress.com

busybusy

Just wanted my future self to take note that i went through this BUSY DAY.

I have a test tomorrow, followed by a presentation. Not to mention that i have to do my dental check up SOO early in the morning... I don't know about you but my dislike for waking up early(before 10-11am), on a scale of 1-10 is like 9.5.

Studied at JEM Mac with Jolyn today and we were being pigs and shared a nuggets meal even though we already ate lunch....And after we gobbled down our food WE WERE STILL HUNGRY. Was so tempted to buy something else but oh well studies come first. After that i followed her to find her friend who's working at eggs & berries at Westgate.. He looks waaaay older than the last time i remember him to be(jc times). Went to meet Hiang and did our project after that.


I have yet to finish studying for my test. I am so doomed even though i try not to think of it that way. I feel so much less prepared than my previous one and i failed the previous one. Accounting and I just ...don't mix well :( sigh. God just don't let me fail that module I can't retake an ACCT module, my heart can't take it.

Anyway I saw a cute guy today.

너무너무너무너무 좋아

나는 진짜진짜진짜 한국에 가고싶다...

그냥 거기 살아싶은데..

모든 국가도 괜찮아. 여행이 너무너무너무너무 좋아. 너무너무너무너무!

오오오오 멋잇다!!! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

재밌게 많이 놀라시픈데ㅋ

금년에 시간이있으면좋겠다..내가 거기에있을거야.

오빠가 언니들 많이 보고싶어용. 정말요. 아빠두..더바쁘니까 더보고싶었어. 카톡 없거든요.

언제까지 이렇게넘바빠.. 딸이심심해요.

나 진짜 여행가고싶다!!!!!!ㅠㅠㅠ진짜...

아..그리구나

Mummy it's over

I can't believe my recess week just went past so fast. It literally zoomed past. I want my recess week back :((

Anyway, 60 more days to MALDIVES!! (i actually used excel to calculate this! heh secretly love CAT~ should have been an IS student eh?)
P/s have not gotten an internship..applied for 3 so far :/ not sure if i should apply for Swissôtel.. don't..panic..don't sadfhslaf

I kind of just wished I had more photos or collectable memoirs or something

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Do you remember how awesome it was to be a kid? To be loved, to be carefree, to be innocent, to not be simple. Every thing was either a yes or a no - a happy or a sad, a like or a dislike. 

I miss my childhood. 

When i was a kid, my mum told me that i took an hour to finish a bowl of porridge while the rest took 15-30mins. Like how is that possible, right? I think i vaguely remember a moment when i was eating and every one else has finished... I was distracted by the TV okay. 

I miss my childhood.

I wished i could bring forth the forgotten memories of playing, the 5 of us. I don't remember much from the time i was born til i was 6. I look at pictures that we had and memories surface but then again are they? Or are they just a dream i had to make up for the lost period of time.

I miss my childhood.

The five of us were inseparable. We used to live in hub blocks opposite each other. Almost every evening we would go downstairs and play with each other. First, there was 2 bikes. We learnt to share, taking turns to have a ride.(Of course the 2 elder ones got to try everything first..) Then Ning had a kiddy car thingy. Then there was a scooter. Sometimes we played badminton.(we tried) Sometimes we went to the drain near the forest to catch fishes and tadpoles. Sometimes we hang out at home and watch power rangers. 

I miss my childhood.

My cousin and family then moved to Castle Green. It was a pity...yet not a pity. They brought Sweety home. We played "dooba dooba"(Sweety went crazy and chased us whenever we said that) with her all the time. Went on walks with the dog, cycling, roller blading.. Playing block catching with condo kids. Playing "poison river" at the playground. Having monthly bbqs. Playing blind mice in their room and climbing every. where. Weekly tennis sessions. Swimming. Getting money from our parents after dinner and buying snacks from the snack shop. Christmas parties, birthday gatherings. Being the coolest kids gang ever.

I miss my childhood.

Then we grew up. We still had fun, yes, but growing up means more responsibilities and less time for us to hang out. I realised this when Carol jie had to go NZ to study. It really sunk in when Sweetie died about 2-3 years after that. But we were still in our teens. We all went through our rebellious stage(kind of). Carol jie went emo-goth, Belle couldn't stop questioning about every single thing, Kor shut himself up and couldn't stop gaming, well Ning...ate.....a lot.. and for me, I uh..whined? Still, every year when we were at Penang with all them other relatives we were still the coolest kids around. We all went through our fair share of growing up. We were somehow there for each other, we didn't judge each other, and we went through it all.

I miss my childhood.

People say you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought you'd never lose it. And this is so damn true. I never thought i'd lose someone...well i did think of it before.. you know just in case to get myself prepared but i always thought it would happen when i'm married, with kids and all. When i'm OLD. This wasn't suppose to happen. Not yet. But it did. And as much as i want to say, "Let's all start living like it's our last day, let's all live without regrets",  deep down i know that life is full of regrets. And this is one of it that i would have to live through it 'til the end of my life. But i know i am not alone. And after some time, i realised that it's not my fault too. I don't even know what i'm saying anymore. 

I miss my brother.

I'm sorry I couldn't get to you. It is weird, moving on without you. How am i suppose to grow old, when you don't? I couldn't envision a future because it's just weird without you. Part of my every single day for the 19 years of my life disappeared. Just like that. But i've learnt to let go. It's okay. It's not okay okay, but i'm okay. We're okay. I have to be strong 'cause i'm the oldest now. I'm the mediator and the glue. I've always been the mediator, eh? Anyways, Happy birthday Kor, i'm older than you now. 

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

Really lazy sunday

Basically what i did for today. Well my day started at about 1pm... Waking up without an alarm clock, ah the simple wonderful amazing things in life. Ate Kimchijeon and Pajeon that my mum made, went out to get my much-craved Chocolate Milk 80% from Gongcha :D (seriously if you want to drink bubble tea might as well drink it to the full right?? why buy 0% sugar!!) Lazed around.. Searched and applied for a few internships.. Looked for songs and added it onto my playlist~ Ah haven't had such a relaxing Sunday in such a long time. And guess what! I'm going to work tomorrow after like 14234years. I can't wait to earn that extra $60 to put my bank account balance back to above 1k! 

Well something interesting that happened today was that my new manager told me that i couldn't work because she had to check with HR first. Somehow i guess because of the fact that i haven't worked in a month plus she thinks that HR would have removed my name? I was SOOO sad because i was looking forward to finally working with Hiang and making coffee again!(well because there are so little customers these days..) I also missed smelling the breads and cakes and eating the free food i get over there.. :( I love bread. I love to see the bakers making bread and the cake chefs decorating the cakes! I think i also miss saying.. "Hi, order?"~ ANYWAY, the good news is she checked my name and YES i will be able to work this week :D What's happier that working tomorrow is knowing that you couldn't work tomorrow then suddenly having a confirmation from the manager that you can work tomorrow! That's 3 tomorrow-s in a sentence.

Sun rise sun set; perfection

Today is a good day.

"We have not received the spirit of the world but the spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us"

Just for laughs

This is a little "Throwback Friday" post from Oct 20, 2010. Somehow ended up reading a little of my past blog posts(instead of studying).. AND I MUST SAY, i am impressed with how the blogpost started. it has been long since i blogged something using creative language and tryna make myself sound all professional..Enjoy every second of this while i creep into a dark corner of my vulnerable heart and cringe at every thought of embarrassing blogposts i have blogged while crossing my fingers and praying you don't read my archives.

"Sincerest apologies my love. never once did i think i would be so.... so.... to put it bluntly, suay. yes, i was really very suay today. if i had any, and i meant any premonition of your outcome, i would have kept you safe. or rather, we would escape and find a safe haven. where you and i can be together.

i remembered the first time we met.... it was only a few weeks ago. and now, i can only see you after my OP presentation. it's okay, time will pass quickly and i will see you very very soon.

till then, i'll work hard and ace my OP and chinese a levels so that you can enjoy the freedom when i have you in my hands!

.
.
.
.
.
.

DEAREST LIME GREEN FRISBEE, IM SO SORRY YOU ARE CONFISCATED :(


okay well shit. that was really gay but okay i was bored.
no back to I&R.
and yes, it got confiscated.
:( no frisbee-ing today.
but tomorrow, i bring my glo-in-the-dark and i prepare for war with pe attire!!!!

K.C.S will not catch us this time!!!!!

and he spotted weijie from so far away can.
suay much.
bye."

Nnnaawww I was so cute teehee.

Mid-term crisis

You know how people have mid life crisis? I'm having a mid-term crisis. Let me explain. Basically this started because of CNY. Yes, I am blaming CNY!!! At the start of CNY, I had no urge or whatsoever to feed on those delicious sinful cny goodies. Then i thought hey there's so many of those if i don't eat some, who will? Right? So i ate some and I've never stopped since then... I had coke cravings(I usually hate soft drinks, it's gassy okay), I ate snacks even when i wasn't hungry just because and... and..now I'm.. FATter.

I lost my motivation to be healthy and exercise once a week too. This always happens during school term. So right now at this moment I'm feeling soooooooooo sad because my tummy is so flabby. Also another side effect I get is feeling like doing everything else except for studying. As if I'm already not a natural at procrastinating.. So currently I want to go overseas and study culinary(baking?? cooking??), go Korea for a year or so to officially study Korean, be a travel blogger.(eventhough my writing style is really weird and my English is just ok) 

I don't know why but nowadays I've been thinking on what to do in the future and the problem is that there's just so many things that I want to try out and I don't think I actually have the time. 

And here's a random picture of carefree times. Ah..

This picture sums up my day. I failed my quiz (I seriously thought I could do most of the questions) but then I collected my new laptop AKA MacBook Pro. However I spent my night trying to transfer files and figure it out. Which means I need to study full force tomorrow and on Friday :/

Woori Nara

17 feb Monday 

Studied at coffee bean westmall. It was productive...kind of.(compared to how much I actually study if I were to stay at home..) Jo taught me Korean too! Learning about directions in Korean is tough!! 앞어옆어뒤에위에밑에안에밖에 <- mind blowing stuff right here. Jo then told me about her recent urge to be healthy and exercise daily...so she made me walk home & we took the car out to eat dinner at Woori Nara. (I had korean food craving since forever okay) It was soooo yum. 

Anyway the conclusion for the day was that we both love Seo In Guk - he's too cute. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvdyHarR2B4

Watch this and join the fandom. What do we call ourselves..Seo-ies? Guk-ies? SIG-ies? Lover of the SIG?(LOTS) 식기~~ 렅스~~

오늘은 커피빈에서 공부했어요. 한국어를도 잘 배웠어요. 화이트초코릿커피 마셨어요. 그 커피 좀 달았요. 그리고 우리 운동을 했어요. 집에 가요. 드디어 저녁이 먹었어요. 우리나라 레스토랑에 맛있어 한식을 잘 먹었어요. 

마지막...우리 서인국도 너무 좋아해용 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

끝! 

Whale you bee my valentine?

It was a fulfilling Friday. I had fun with my gb girls &pals. Sneaked drinks into the cinema and watched robocop with Jo(Jolyn couldn't join D;) 

I wasn't lonely. There's no need to be lonely, there's no need to wait for that someone. You've just got to realise you've got someone-s all around you. And that's what matters. 

These people around you. 

Do you know that?

You have the power to make people happy.

It happens all the time

i have the shortest attention time span ever.

10pm: finished printing my notes and stuff
10:10pm: stopped scrolling facebook and went to study(FOR MY FRIKKIN QUIZ THAT IS MANAGERIAL ACCOUNTING AND I ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT ACCOUNTING AND HATE IT.)
10:20pm: whatsapping. went to do some admin on who's coming over to my house on saturday.
10:30pm: replying texts. sending texts (just in case i forgot)
10:40pm: back to studying
10:55pm: suddenly remembered that i wanted to follow this person on instagram so heads to laptop and check it out.
11:00pm: went to check out some blogs
11:10pm: here i am blogging

i have 3 chapters to revise, and try to memorise on how to account stuffs. don't even have time to try out the quiz practices :'( on days like this i wished i was given a written assignment instead(that would not be strictly graded because  you know, my EL isn't the best and i severely lack in my vocab as well as the fact that my grammar sometimes suck so bad) but you know i actually love typing on the keyboard and writing meaningless stuff and crapping loads of weird stories out. but then i'm not a good story writer...blah.

so yes as you can see i also happen to can't help but digress alot. or is it a lot. hmmm i never did understood that part of english.
before i continue with my smugging(ha ha) i just need to put my motivator up here...

BEN XIAO JIE IS GOING TO KANI AGAIN. sa sa sa summer time summer time happiness~ 

We plan to do a dance compilation while we're there hehe