A levels

Is it weird that i have no idea how normal people would be feeling on the day that they receive their A Level results?

I mean i can't even remember how i was feeling.
i think it was like nothing. i was feeling nothing.
and i think i just wanted to get it over and done with and run away from all these people around me and just go home.

i vaguely remember entering the hall and Jacelyn spotted me and we hugged and she cried...(I DIDNT OK) and maybe like a few rows of people were staring but i didn't care.
and i asked her why she wasn't sitting with her class and feeling proud of her that she scored well.

Then i saw my class.
Sat down.
Awkward eye contact with Vanessa and QZ and me trying to act like everything is okay.

*proceeded to stone and zone out*
*casual remarks of "why is it taking so long"*
*turns around and look at other people in the hall*

The usual happened. Teacher comes up and talk. Principal went up and showed some results thingy.
Smart people went up.
Applause.
end.

Go line up and take your results yay.

Took my results. Don't know how to feel.
Went to pick-up area, waited for my cousin in law to pick me up and fetch me home.

Received many "That's really good and We're so proud of you" (but it's actually not very good righttttttttttttttttt)


ONE YEAR HAS PASSED.
and i know for sure one thing that is common.
i feel the nothing, the don't know what to feel, the don't know how to feel, the waiting for something, the-.