Guess what i found when i got home today!!!
THIS.
So i was digging through ning's drawers, trying to find the guitar strap but then i found this instead. i seriously thought the army people took this away. you have no idea how so very happy i am to have this. you see he didn't really leave a lot for us behind. my brother was a minimalist(basically just stingy with his money); so he didn't keep a lot nor did he wear much accessories.
You know he was stingy but i'll always remember this time in 2011 when we celebrated my mum's birthday. i bought the stuffs(as always) and we decided to split the cake+present money amongst the 3 of us. when i was about to collect the $10+ from him, he gave me $50 and asked me to keep the change. maaaan that was the first time i thought 'hey army really changed my brother!'
You know i was always proud of my brother. i don't know if he knew that but he was the smartest person to me. always. from the times when he scored so well in PSLE such that he entered RVHS til when he represented his school to go to some science competition that got aired on TV. (which led to us family making fun of him doing the 'river valley!' pose) he was so talented. he played the piano, attained grade 8 and is in his school's choir. never sings out of tune, also used to help me tune the guitar by ear. one of the proudest moments was when i was there during his POP. that surge of pride when they threw their caps, thinking "my brother's in there!!!".
But then i regret being busy in JC/playing too much post A levels and not being able to be there for his other milestones. i didn't even know he was a sergeant and i wasn't there when he became one. he's a combat engineer - that i know - i heard they go through some tough shit. so whenever someone talked army i tell them my bro's a combat engineer(boasting like the only talent i have is my brother). i should've been there. that's why for the first few times i was invited to be there for other people's POP i made excuses to not be there. it reminds me of my brother also, i want that POP experience to be special. "i only went for my bro's one, no one elses'". this also applies to all the comms ball and that kind of invitation. that explains why i rejected 5 people even though i was pretty inclined to almost say yes at the end... people have no idea how much ARMY stuff just reminds me of my brother... well it got better because basically i was suddenly surrounded by a whole group of new NSFs, i sort of got used to all these army talks.
Today i went to sing karaoke with a few peeps. it was fun :) i also wished i asked you to teach me how to sing. well, i did but i wished i was persistent with it so that you would've gotten down to really teaching me. you know, i miss your singing. (even though you won't stop singing The Cab...) i also miss your piano seshes. i can't believe i can't remember that exam piece that you kept playing. i used to sometimes find it so annoying to get woken up by you playing the piano on weekends.(ning prolly doesn't cause he sleeps like a log) i can't help if i'm not a morning person and love sleeping in... but now i wished you were a bit more of a tech savy guy who videoed yourself playing the piano and posted them somewhere.
You know sometimes i sit in the dining room and think what if you just came home like usual, like nothing happened at all.
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