KKF

Kampung Kids Forever.

"Five

We started walking behind the hearse, as we were told. The four of us in a row, from the right - Belle, Wei, Ning and I, while the others followed behind us. I reached out for Ning's hand, Ning did the same to Wei, and Wei to Belle. It was a symbol of love and unity. We needed to be strong for each other. We had to support and hold each other up. Our heads were bowed and tears flowed uncontrollably. Occasionally, we would look up through the back of the hearse where you were laying in that redwood casket.
It was always the five of us, since Feb 1996 (when Ning was finally born). It was difficult to accept that we're now down to four. It still is. Because that's what we were - inseparable.

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13.

The crowd has dispersed and now the four of us go up to say goodbye. Fingers interlaced, phones placed haphazardly on the casket, we talk about Bukit Batok, ninja turtle video games, bicycles and a scooter, tetris, being fascinated by screensavers, power rangers, blind mice, climbing bookshelves, rawa, captain America swimming trunks, swimming, hiking, hiking in slippers, gunbound, maplestory, sleepovers, ordering nasi lemak, eating sotong till’ we had sore throats, your monobrow, ‘hey chicky you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind hey chicky!’, Chinese new year, songkrap, ‘supporting the hell’, building houses from mattresses and clothes pegs, streams, ‘yan!’ at Guilin view pool, the first and last time we ever barbequed there, Ning’s shit explosion, roller-blading, tennis, ‘gg niao nar’, ‘noobshit’, Desaru and the Impian, the slide in Rawa that was high and dry and how it was going to be the five of us for the next 50 years. The wood is soaked. We walk out hand in hand, so tired.

17.

It begins when Jie brings out the first photo album. Here you are in your four-year-old glory, when we went to the zoo, when we did strange power ranger poses. Tinkling laughter fills the room and real light, for once, dances through the glass door. It is too early to be healed but the fondness increases slowly, and selective memory will bring us away from the rawness of the last three days. In the background we play Jimmy Eat World, listening to Jim Adkins sing about angels. Two Christians, one agnostic, one atheist, offering joss in Buddhist ceremonies but knowing that the real peace lies here in this little room, the space that disappears when we join hands and mix memories.

20.

There is a gentle peace permeating the house. The adults eat and talk in the living room and the four of us are remembering you in the way we best know how to. There is love yes, and we will cling on to this, have it draw us in, fill the gaps, make us whole again. Five was never a physical entity anyway. It is carried with tenderness, sometimes playfully poked, mercilessly teased, but always lovingly held, in our heart, forever and always.

By: Isabelle Lim

"

adapted from my cousin's blog.

Kor, we'll miss you.

So so so so much.

You've probably seen Jesus.

Heaven's cool huh?