Is it better to have loved?

Or to have loved and lost? 

If I had a month left to live what would I do? Well I do have a month left...before I fly off 4669km away. Hopefully nothing happens to me and I fly back safely home. 

I guess in a way my parents get annoyed at me for not doing little things here and there but they just don't seem as important to me. One very apt example is the state of my room :o I don't usually clear up my room really well. There's just always something more important to do. And the way I handle deadlines is different. If something is not due soon, it's "not so important" and vice versa. My mum on the other hand wants me to do this and that because I see it now/we're talking about it now/the issue has surfaced. 

So on this note, if I had a month left...I wonder what I'd be doing different?

One thing I know for sure is I'll force myself to wake up early everyday so that I have more time. (I have serious problems waking up early) Another thing is that I wouldn't hesitate to tell people how much I love them and how much they mean to me - the 100% truth. 

Now surely I will live as much as possible and not want to have regrets?(then again not knowing the full outcome of our actions brings about a certain odd that we will regret) And if every single person would want to live their lives without regrets, knowing life's fragility, I'm damn sure they'd be doing different things...things that may even scare them if it were just a normal day. 

I want to pause, to slow down, absorb and take it all in. I want to balance this me into the normal life me. Then maybe I'd stop feeling conflicted at times.